W. C. Fields Quotes


56 quotes:

"Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Smiles Quotes
"A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Money Quotes Man Quotes
"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Life Quotes
"Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Horses Quotes
"I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Hollywood Quotes
"Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Heart Quotes
"Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Gold Quotes
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"Never give a sucker an even break."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Proverbs Quotes
"I never vote for anyone. I always vote against."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Elections Quotes
"The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes
"Children should neither be seen or heard from -- ever again."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Children Quotes
"Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Cheating Quotes
"My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Babies Quotes
"Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: Attitude Quotes
"There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes
"There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes
"Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes
"On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia."
Author: Fields Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes

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