Fred A. Allen Quotes
22 Fred A. Allen quotes:
"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart."
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"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."
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"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there."
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"During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk."
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"A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
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"The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand."
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"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy."
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"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."
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"A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
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"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
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"My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama."
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"All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it."
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"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
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"Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making."
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"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star."
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"California is a great place to live if you're an orange."
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"He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone."
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"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."
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"Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners."
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"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."
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