Patton Oswalt Quotes


15 Patton Oswalt quotes:



"I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes."
"I hate all sidekicks."
"Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period."
"90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on."
"I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see."
"I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you."
"I love doing stand-up, and having a growing core of fans forces me to experiment and push every time. Everyone has fun - me, most importantly."
"I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage."
"I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form."
"I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do."
"I'm not familiar with the metric system."
"I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything."
"If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins."
"It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now."
"Well, my dad had a lot of Jonathan Winters albums, so those were my first memories of listening to anything funny, and those were very influential."



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