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Woody Allen Quotes

126 Woody Allen quotes:

"The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: God Quotes
"It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Graduation Quotes
"A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."
"If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Risk Quotes
"If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job."
"The higher the school rating the better off we are in having perspective projects look at our area,"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Perspective Quotes
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Belief Quotes
"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Belief Quotes
"Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Belief Quotes
"If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Body Quotes
"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Cheating Quotes
"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Action Quotes
"And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Action Quotes
"Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Action Quotes
"The Colgate Comedy Hour."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes
"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Comfort Quotes
"Now we're in the final stages. There's a lot of (due diligence) work to be done in the next 120 days, but it feels good to get everybody on board."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Diligence Quotes
"As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Creation Quotes

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