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Woody Allen Quotes


126 Woody Allen quotes:



"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
"If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Body Quotes
"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness."
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Belief Quotes
"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Belief Quotes
"Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Belief Quotes
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Cheating Quotes
"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Action Quotes
"And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Action Quotes
"Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Action Quotes
"The Colgate Comedy Hour."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes
"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Comfort Quotes
"As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Creation Quotes
"Now we're in the final stages. There's a lot of (due diligence) work to be done in the next 120 days, but it feels good to get everybody on board."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Diligence Quotes
"The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year."
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Dreams Quotes
"one of the fortuitous events, one of the great pieces of luck in my life."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Events Quotes
"That [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Enjoyment Quotes
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead."
"It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: America Quotes



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