Robert Benchley Quotes


25 Robert Benchley quotes:



"Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?"
"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment."
"The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon."
"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."
"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony."
"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."
"Behind every argument is someone's ignorance."
"Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted."
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
"I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine."
"Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of."
"For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting."
"An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens."
"I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author."
"In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
Author: Benchley Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Pets Quotes
"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other."
Author: Benchley Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Pets Quotes
"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."



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