Robert Benchley Quotes
25 Robert Benchley quotes:
"Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?"
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American Comedian Quotes
"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment."
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Work Quotes
American Comedian Quotes
"The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon."
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American Comedian Quotes
"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
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American Comedian Quotes
Man Quotes
"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."
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American Comedian Quotes
"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony."
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American Comedian Quotes
"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."
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American Comedian Quotes
Universe Quotes
"Behind every argument is someone's ignorance."
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American Comedian Quotes
"Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted."
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American Comedian Quotes
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
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American Comedian Quotes
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
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American Comedian Quotes
"I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine."
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American Comedian Quotes
"Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of."
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American Comedian Quotes
"For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting."
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American Comedian Quotes
"An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens."
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American Comedian Quotes
"I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author."
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American Comedian Quotes
Authority Quotes
"In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children."
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Travel Quotes
American Comedian Quotes
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
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American Comedian Quotes
Pets Quotes
"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other."
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American Comedian Quotes
Pets Quotes
"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
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Funny Quotes
American Comedian Quotes
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