George Carlin Quotes


72 George Carlin quotes:



"A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Home Quotes
"I went straight from shenanigans to cries against humanity"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Humanity Quotes
"In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today; rescue operations are continuing"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Labor Quotes
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Universe Quotes
"Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Trade Quotes
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Language Quotes
"There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Night Quotes
"You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Magic Quotes
"Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain."
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Smiles Quotes
"If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Man Quotes
"He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident."
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Pain Quotes
"If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categorize them, combining them alongside existing ideas, and eventually put a piece together."
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes



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