Dennis Miller Quotes


35 Dennis Miller quotes:



"What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy."
"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."
"I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess."
Author: Miller Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Chess Quotes
"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R"
Author: Miller Quotes Category: Education Quotes
"I lapsed into rude."
"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
"There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it."
"Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand."
"You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven."
"It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity."
"The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens."
"President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which."
"There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh."
Author: Miller Quotes Category: Approval Quotes



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