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Tim Vine Quotes


9 Tim Vine quotes:



"You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox."
Author: Vine Quotes Category: British Comedian Quotes Hunting Quotes
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"
"I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down."
"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet."
"I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy."
"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"
"So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red."
Author: Vine Quotes Category: British Comedian Quotes Chinese Quotes
"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."
"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."
Author: Vine Quotes Category: Dad Quotes



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