Erma Bombeck Quotes

93 Erma Bombeck quotes:

"I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Brains Quotes
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there."
"I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars."
"Never accept a drink from a urologist."
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
"Children make your life important."
"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."
"Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Dreams Quotes
"I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. . . ."
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."
"A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste"
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Advice Quotes
"Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Graduation Quotes
"At some point in your life, if you're lucky, you throw practicality to the wind and start living."
"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
"I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes."
"I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent."

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