Johnny Vegas Quotes

28 Johnny Vegas quotes:

"This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute."
"I think men going bald is certainly off limits, coming from a family as I do, where it's in our gene pool and it could one day happen to me."
"My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in."
"The fun is being able to have a show that you can do but then always being able to look out for that opportunity to do something different."
"You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear."
"I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show."
"There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource."
"With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle."
"It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether."
"I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough."
"For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason."
"I get all kinds of ages, it really does range from silly drunk old men to silly drunk young lads. And the same goes for the females."
"I use very few muscles at the best of times."
"I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one."
"When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that."
"Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out."
"I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia."
"I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs."
"If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it."
"We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves."

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