Bill Cosby Quotes

"I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do."

"Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific."

"I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children."

"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."

"There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right."

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."

"The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it."

"I wasn't always black... There was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger."

"Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger."

"Gray hair is God's graffiti."

"You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven."

"A father . . . knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested."

"Ladies and gentlemen, the lower economic and lower middle economic people are not holding their end in this deal. In the neighborhood that most of us grew up in, parenting is not going on."

"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."

"That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked"

"It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life."

"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet."

"Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much."

"I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy."