Dave Barry Quotes

118 Dave Barry quotes:

"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."
"Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes."
"Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column."
"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."
"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Car Quotes
"The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat."
"He'd tried to strike up a conversation with her,"
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Conversation Quotes
"One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet"
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Company Quotes
"There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece."
"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."
"Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"I find myself having these conversations where I go...“You know, the guy, in that place. The guy in the place with the thing, you know.” And it becomes this game of charades. And then finally, we realize that I mean the Pope."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Memory Quotes
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
"I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care."
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Journalism Quotes
"The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition."

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