Dave Barry Quotes

118 Dave Barry quotes:

"Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent."
"The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting."
"I believe that's one of the finest action regurgitation scenes in the history of literature, ... I'd put it right up there."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Action Quotes
"Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer."
"And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Computers Quotes
"Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements..."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Congress Quotes
"Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Democracy Quotes
"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling."
"My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into bands with names like "Heave" and "Squatting Turnips."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Music Quotes
"In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford- were caused by erosion."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Nature Quotes
"The Internet browser... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Technology Quotes
"Harvard University, according to the directory of the American Society of Colleges and Universities, is a "type of weevil."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Society Quotes
"Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd."
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
"Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough."
"We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth."
"The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch."
Author: Barry Quotes Category: Babies Quotes

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