Jon Stewart Quotes

35 Jon Stewart quotes:

"Some are from the world of the arts, some from the fields of business, architecture, wine-making and education. What they have in common is that they are all known nationally -- and many internationally -- for their wide-ranging achievements."
"If you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you're more than welcome to ... You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls."
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes
"If I had to go out there and surf, that would be a problem. But you know, it's just comedy."
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes
"Very often I get e-mails intended for Jon Stewart from Comedy Central that are mailed to me. And the first reaction, and the first response that I or my assistant make is: Do you have the right Jon Stewart?"
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes
"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
"President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader."
"Sheep are not considered the most intelligent animals but British scientist say humans may have underestimated the woolly creatures. In fact, the British scientific community is even suggesting that the animals might even be ""Irish-smart."
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Animals Quotes
"We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics."
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Beauty Quotes
"Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote."
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating."
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"The truth is we've been doing The Daily Show for all the way up until just this week, so I've been kind of focused on that. And at home my wife and I just had another baby, so I've also been thinking about that."
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Truth Quotes
"That's what I like about you, senator. You're kicking it old-school."
"I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board. And that's really it. And what we do is we come in in the morning and we go, "Did you see that thing last night? Aahh!" And then we spend the next 8 or 9 hours trying to take this and make it into something funny."
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Man Quotes
"those dastardly, conniving, post-hurricane looting criminals. Is there no end to their planning abilities?!"
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Planning Quotes
"I don't know that much about women,"
Author: Stewart Quotes Category: Women Quotes

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