Jay London Quotes
35 Jay London quotes:
"I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough."
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"I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world."
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"I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out."
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"A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock."
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"I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody."
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"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality."
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"My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings."
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"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it."
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"My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless."
American Comedian Quotes
Boss Quotes
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"I saw a stationery store move."
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"I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road."
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"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."
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"I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out."
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"It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes."
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"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights."
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"I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?"
American Comedian Quotes
Medical Quotes
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"My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese."
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"I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else."
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"They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults."
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"Do you know it was a year a ago today?"
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