Jay London Quotes
35 Jay London quotes:
"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me."
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American Comedian Quotes
Identity Quotes
"Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?"
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American Comedian Quotes
"I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling."
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American Comedian Quotes
"You know what burns me? Matches."
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American Comedian Quotes
"I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm."
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American Comedian Quotes
"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it."
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American Comedian Quotes
"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
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American Comedian Quotes
"My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless."
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American Comedian Quotes
Boss Quotes
"My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese."
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Family Quotes
American Comedian Quotes
"I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough."
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American Comedian Quotes
Army And Navy Quotes
"I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world."
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American Comedian Quotes
Worry Quotes
"I saw a stationery store move."
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American Comedian Quotes
"People read me but they don't subscribe."
Category:
American Comedian Quotes
"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride."
Category:
American Comedian Quotes
Privilege Quotes
"I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else."
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American Comedian Quotes
"They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults."
Category:
American Comedian Quotes
"I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out."
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American Comedian Quotes
"My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."
Category:
American Comedian Quotes
"A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock."
Category:
American Comedian Quotes
"Do you know it was a year a ago today?"
Category:
American Comedian Quotes
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