William Pollack Quotes

"Many people, ... base their thinking about boys on the myth that 'testosterone = aggressiveness = boys,' but nothing in the research, mine included, proves that equation to be true … . So why do men behave so much more violently than women do, if there is no male 'violence chromosome'? When boys feel disconnected (from adequate love and support) and afraid of being shamed, when they harden themselves and then put on the macho mask, the one emotion they feel it's acceptable to show, and thus the only emotion they will show, is anger."

"Many people, ... base their thinking about boys on the myth that 'testosterone = aggressiveness = boys,' but nothing in the research, mine included, proves that equation to be true . So why do men behave so much more violently than women do, if there is no male 'violence chromosome'? When boys feel disconnected (from adequate love and support) and afraid of being shamed, when they harden themselves and then put on the macho mask, the one emotion they feel it's acceptable to show, and thus the only emotion they will show, is anger."

"There is a crisis in boyhood in America today."

"Early on, many boys give up. Once they turn it off, they rarely go back to it."

"At 5 years old boys feel shamed if they don't push away from mom."

"There is just one problem here - we're not in a jungle and boys aren't lions."

"Research shows, ... that while mothers tend to soothe their children and shield them from too much stimulation, the average father is inclined to arouse the emotions and stimulate a boy, playing with him zestfully and 'jazzing' him up. … That roughhousing between father and son that may make mom cringe is actually the rudimentary beginning of a boy's management of his aggression and his ability to substitute emotional mastery and mutual cooperation for violent interaction."