Milton Berle Quotes


19 Milton Berle quotes:



"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live"
Author: Berle Quotes Category: Laughter Quotes
"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring."
"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight."
"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison -- if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight."
Author: Berle Quotes Category: Television Quotes
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?"
"Committee--a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."
Author: Berle Quotes Category: Men Quotes Committees And Meetings Quotes
"A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."
Author: Berle Quotes Category: Man Quotes
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours."
"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting."
"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live."
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are."
"A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"."
Author: Berle Quotes Category: Man Quotes
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient."
Author: Berle Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Poverty Quotes
"A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours."



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