Paula Poundstone Quotes

"I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name."

"The position of First Lady has no rules, just precedent, so its evolution has been at a virtual standstill for years. If Martha Washington didn't do it, then no one is sure it should be done."

"I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do."

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."

"Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas."

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

"The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer."

"It is the best part of the night. The classic (interactive) lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting."

"Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas."

"My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."

"The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much, ... I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet."