Will Rogers Quotes

"Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln."

"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."

"You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness."

"The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office."

"I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good."

"So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip"

"Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely"

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else"

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

"If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone 'America died from a delusion that she had moral leadership'."

"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there."

"America is a land of opportunity and don't ever forget it."

"And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!"

"A man that don't love a horse, there is something the matter with him."

"Make crime pay. Become a lawyer."

"Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion."

"Congressional investigations are for the benefit of photographers."

"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction."

"The way to judge a good comedy is by how long it will last and have people talk about it. Now Congress had turned out some that have lived for years and people are still laughing about them."

"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."