Mark Twain Quotes

"No man is straitly honest to any but himself and God"

"It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times."

"Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."

"Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it"

"Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh."

"Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth"

"The elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time."

"In his private heart no man much respects himself."

"You can't reason with the heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns."

"There is no humor in heaven."

"Varanasi" is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together"

"History does not repeat itself. But it does rhyme."

"History doesn't repeat itself - at best it sometimes rhymes"

"I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won t."

"When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself"

"Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish"

"If all men were rich, all men would be poor"

"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid."

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter."

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."