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Johnny Carson Quotes


26 Johnny Carson quotes:



"Do You Wanna Dance."
"The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money"
Author: Carson Quotes Category: Divorce Quotes
"The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money"
Author: Carson Quotes Category: Freedom Quotes
"New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved."
"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
"We're more effective than birth control pills."
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
"People will pay more to be entertained than educated."
"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
"Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined."
"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive."
"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."
"When turkeys mate they think of swans."
"The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money."
"My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day."
"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."
Author: Carson Quotes Category: Birthday Quotes
"Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!"
Author: Carson Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes
"He's so fat, he can be his own running mate"
Author: Carson Quotes Category: Running Quotes
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."



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