Garrison Keillor Quotes

22 Garrison Keillor quotes:

"Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough."
"It is the classic Freaks, Fatties, Fanatics and Faux Culture Excursion beloved of European journalists for the past 50 years."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Culture Quotes
"One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Debt Quotes Brotherhood Quotes
"A book is a gift you can open again and again."
"God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Comedy Quotes
"A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it"
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Coffee Quotes
"A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer."
"Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted."
"Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Beauty Quotes
"Be more funny! Be more funny!"
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"It's an honor to be taken off the air. I had to wait until I was 63. You are nobody in radio until you've been fired at least once, and I've never been fired. At least it's vindication."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Honor Quotes
"Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Greed Quotes
"In your 50s, instead of panicking about the income you need to build up in the next 15 or 20 years, your best move is to concentrate on getting your costs down. If you will need less to live on in retirement, then you won't need to risk desperate accumulation strategies now. Right? That's a pretty basic point that everyone seems to miss. I want you to make cost reduction Plan A in your Late-Start Retirement Strategy."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Income Quotes
"All fiction comes from a little bit of reality, otherwise it would have no relevance. The fun is in innovation, take something real like this fair, and make it something larger than life."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Fiction Quotes
"Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either"
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Mother Quotes
"That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average"
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Men Quotes
"A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Joy Quotes
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."
"I'm not tired, let's eat. One has to catch a little society when one can."
Author: Keillor Quotes Category: Society Quotes

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