George Carlin Quotes


72 George Carlin quotes:



"The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Advertising Quotes
"The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Deception Quotes
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
"You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans."
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it."
"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."
"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
"When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent."
"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
"I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Children Quotes
"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ..."
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth"
Author: Carlin Quotes Category: Language Quotes
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?"
"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept."
"Always do whatever's next."
"People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think."
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"



inspirational quote database

Successories, the leaders of inspiration and motivation, has unlocked iQuote: The Inspirational Quote Database, a curated collection of the most inspirational quotes. Raise your iQ and become a Quoteologist today!