Fran Lebowitz Quotes


58 Fran Lebowitz quotes:



"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail."
Author: Lebowitz Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Pets Quotes
"If you're going to America, bring your own food."
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
"You're only as good as your last haircut."
Author: Lebowitz Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass."
"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
"Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."
"When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough."
"The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive."
"Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat."
"Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw."
Author: Lebowitz Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Illness Quotes
"I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not."
"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."
"Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back."
"Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set."
"I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?"
"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."
"You're only has good as your last haircut."



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