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Erma Bombeck Quotes


93 Erma Bombeck quotes:



"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
"Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Graduation Quotes
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners."
"At some point in your life, if you're lucky, you throw practicality to the wind and start living."
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Medical Quotes
"As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Belief Quotes
"Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy."
"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."
"A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory -- an empty bottle of gin."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Children Quotes
"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."
"I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. . . ."
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."
"A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste"
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Advice Quotes
"The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"
"Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Dreams Quotes



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