Erma Bombeck Quotes


93 quotes:

"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes
"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Comedy Quotes
"People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes
"Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes
"The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Age And Aging Quotes
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Age And Aging Quotes American Journalist Quotes
"A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste"
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Advice Quotes
"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Advice Quotes American Journalist Quotes
"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Adversity Quotes American Journalist Quotes
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Action Quotes
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Success Quotes American Journalist Quotes
"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Food Quotes Sports Quotes
"If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Sports Quotes American Journalist Quotes
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Parenting Quotes American Journalist Quotes
"Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Moms Quotes
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Medical Quotes
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: American Journalist Quotes Books And Reading Quotes
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Marriage Quotes American Journalist Quotes

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