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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes


28 Jerry Seinfeld quotes:



"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to"
"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."
"It really was written and geared for a very specific audience, but our comedic strength trumps all of that. The subject matter, the dialogue, the tone isn't right for most of America."
Author: Seinfeld Quotes Category: Strength Quotes
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."
"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."
"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."
"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving."
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"
"But after they settle in you've still got to be funny, because for an hour just the fact they get to see you live in a theater is going to wear off if you're not doing well."
Author: Seinfeld Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's notto be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing."
Author: Seinfeld Quotes Category: Birthday Quotes
"That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me"
Author: Seinfeld Quotes Category: Christmas Quotes
"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
Author: Seinfeld Quotes Category: Birthday Quotes
"The reactions of audiences are interesting,"
Author: Seinfeld Quotes Category: Audiences Quotes
"We were somewhat unsupervised. The audience was there and the network is not going to complain if everyone's liking the show."
Author: Seinfeld Quotes Category: Audiences Quotes
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."



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