Fred Allen Quotes

38 Fred Allen quotes:

"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Dad Quotes
"When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Memory Quotes
"If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard -- let him worry about cutting it."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Worry Quotes
"An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match."
"The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi."
"I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars."
"The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed."
"What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?"
"All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Laughter Quotes Comedian Quotes
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Funny Quotes English Playwright Quotes
"Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"Not every one of those lower-income taxpayers becomes a cost to a state-funded system."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Income Quotes
"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."
"Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Television Quotes
"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary."
"Television is the triumph of machine over people."
"Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great."
"I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is."
"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Funny Quotes

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