Robert Orben Quotes

35 Robert Orben quotes:

"Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket"
Author: Orben Quotes Category: Happiness Quotes
"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get."
"Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch."
"Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."
"I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it -- after all, they've already given us tasteless bread."
Author: Orben Quotes Category: Food Quotes
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
"There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers."
"Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success."
"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."
"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."
"With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!"
"Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet."
"Do your kids a favor - don't have any."
"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."
"Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people."
"A compliment is verbal sunshine"
Author: Orben Quotes Category: Compliments Quotes
"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."
"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
Author: Orben Quotes Category: Graduation Quotes
"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
Author: Orben Quotes Category: America Quotes

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