Robert Orben Quotes
35 Robert Orben quotes:
"Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket"
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"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get."
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"Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch."
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"Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."
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"I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it -- after all, they've already given us tasteless bread."
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"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
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"There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers."
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"Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success."
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"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."
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"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."
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"With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!"
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"Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet."
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"Do your kids a favor - don't have any."
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"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."
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"Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people."
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"A compliment is verbal sunshine"
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"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
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"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."
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"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
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"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
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