Tim Allen Quotes

9 Tim Allen quotes:

"While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously."
"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
"Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me."
"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded."
"Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything."
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Car Quotes
"no class at Wilson has more than 22 students at this time."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Class Quotes
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"We have a great team here. And we've received tremendous support from parents. We're really trying to bring this whole thing together to have a successful transition."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Parents Quotes

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