Tim Allen Quotes

9 Tim Allen quotes:

"While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously."
"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
"no class at Wilson has more than 22 students at this time."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Class Quotes
"We have a great team here. And we've received tremendous support from parents. We're really trying to bring this whole thing together to have a successful transition."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Parents Quotes
"Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything."
"Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me."
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance"
Author: Allen Quotes Category: Funny Quotes
"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded."
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Car Quotes

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