Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

53 Jeff Foxworthy quotes:

"For a long time, because it goes against the message that the advertising world sends to you, they were ashamed they didn't have the coolest clothes, the coolest cars, couldn't afford to go here, buy this and do that. I think we finally all got together and went, 'You know what? We like being this way.'"
"glorious absence of sophistication."
Author: Foxworthy Quotes Category: Absence Quotes
"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."
"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
"Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work."
"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors."
"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
"I really don't require a whole lot in life."
"Nothing in life prepares you to be famous."
"Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately."
"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
"That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring."
"The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him."
"The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more."
"There's no down time any more."

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