Tom Lehrer Quotes
18 Tom Lehrer quotes:
"If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here"
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"Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things"
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"It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years."
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"On my income tax 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away."
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"If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it."
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"Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
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"Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"
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"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up."
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"Bad weather always looks worse through a window."
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"The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability."
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"In the new approach, as you know, the important thing is to understand what you are doing rather than to get the right answer"
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"All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder.For filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. I could tell you things about Peter Pan,And the Wizard of OZ, there's a dirty old man!"
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"On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time to cheat him all the more The other three hundred and sixty-four"
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"It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year."
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"An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent."
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"Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you."
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"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"
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"I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up."
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