American Director Quotes

1774 American Director quotes:

"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."
Author: Allen Quotes Category: American Director Quotes Husband Quotes
"Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun."
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'"
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
"Drink! for you know not whence you came nor why: drink! for you know not why you go, nor where."
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
"Living Life Tomorrow's fate, though thou be wise, Thou canst not tell nor yet surmise; Pass, therefore, not today in vain, For it will never come again."
"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox."
"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."
"Eighty percent of success is showing up."
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?"
"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government."
"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."
"The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."
"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."
"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words."

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