Humorous Quotes


299 Humorous quotes:



"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
Author: Twain Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!' And if you were my wife, I would drink it!"
Author: Churchill Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one."
"Long hair minimizes the need for barbers; socks can be done without; one leather jacket solves the coat problem for many years; suspenders are superfluous."
Author: Einstein Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes Hair Quotes
"President means chief servant"
Author: Gandhi Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants."
"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours that's relativity."
"The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least i can dream."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."
Author: Wilde Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy."
"What good is it being Marilyn Monroe? Why can't I just be an ordinary woman? A woman who can have a family ... I'd settle for just one baby. My own baby."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"People respect you because they feel you've survived hard times and endured, and although you've become famous, you haven't become phony."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his."
Author: Reagan Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
"When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run."
"If you want something said, ask a man...if you want something done, ask a woman."
Author: Thatcher Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"All the fun's in how you say a thing"
Author: Frost Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"I am a great friend to public amusements, for they keep the people from vice."
Author: Johnson Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes


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