Humorous Quotes


299 Humorous quotes:



"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
Author: Twain Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises."
Author: Bombeck Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!' And if you were my wife, I would drink it!"
Author: Churchill Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Habit Quotes Humorous Quotes
"Long hair minimizes the need for barbers; socks can be done without; one leather jacket solves the coat problem for many years; suspenders are superfluous."
Author: Einstein Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes Hair Quotes
"President means chief servant"
Author: Gandhi Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants."
Author: Einstein Quotes Category: Advice Quotes Humorous Quotes
"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours that's relativity."
Author: Einstein Quotes Category: Girls Quotes Humorous Quotes
"The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least i can dream."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."
Author: Wilde Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy."
Author: Einstein Quotes Category: Acceptance Quotes Humorous Quotes
"What good is it being Marilyn Monroe? Why can't I just be an ordinary woman? A woman who can have a family ... I'd settle for just one baby. My own baby."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"People respect you because they feel you've survived hard times and endured, and although you've become famous, you haven't become phony."
Author: Monroe Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his."
Author: Reagan Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
Author: Einstein Quotes Category: Future Quotes Humorous Quotes
"When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run."
Author: Lincoln Quotes Category: Determination Quotes Humorous Quotes
"If you want something said, ask a man...if you want something done, ask a woman."
Author: Thatcher Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"All the fun's in how you say a thing"
Author: Frost Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes
"I am a great friend to public amusements, for they keep the people from vice."
Author: Johnson Quotes Category: Humorous Quotes


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